Breakdown

There are quite a few changes in my life. Starting at the point that now I life alone, which makes life kind of different. I like being on my own. The last few weeks were crazy. I was down a lot and everything seemed to go wrong. One day my boss and his wife couldn't watch it anymore and they took me into their office. There I started to cry like a Baby. I hate crying infront of: people I don't like, Ex boyfriends and my boss! But that break down helped me realise that something needs to change. I couldn't pray anymore, there was like a wall between me and God and I couldn't sleep anymore. 3 mornings I prayed, worshiped, read the Bible and another book about Jesus and I listened to God and wrote things down. I realised that I focued on a man only, instead of God and his will for my life. I had lost my passion for God because I gave my heart to someone else. But that is over now. Something is going to change. I want to work for God's kingdom as I did before, I want to change something in this world. There are a few options of what I could do, but what is most on my heart at the moment is going to hill song college Sydney and study counceling for a year. Now I'm at my parents place and just told them about what's on my mind - it's just a thought. My Mum wasn't even surprised. I'm not sure if this is what God wants me to do, but what ever he wants me to do, I will do it. I lay down my dream of getting married and having sweet kids, because if this is not God's plan I don't want it anymore, even if it hurts - it does hurt. But I know my only fullfilment is in God and there is no greater love than his. I love you God! And now I have to go, my Mum just called me - dinner time. It's nice to be at home :-) People out there, please pray for me, and tell me, what God tells you. Cheers