Collide

It's the fight of two worlds
They collide and I'm crushed
In the end I'm the one bleeding
Stuck in the middle
Such a crazy life
The way out is not indicated
It's a riddle
But I don't even understand the question
When a wave crushes on shore
The next will surely follow
A never ending circle
Until the end of ages
The seasons come and go
It's never really over
Because every end is also a new beginning
Some things may be lost
Yet something else will come
To marvel at the beauty of nature
is what keeps the soul alive
Only love can carry a person
And we all come to the point
where we need to be carried
It's rare to find a diamond
Still they're out there
The one who digs deep will find true beauty

Logos Hope = crazy life

I’ve been on Logos Hope for over a year already! It’s been a crazy time. There were many days where I just wanted to go home and there were many days where I absolutely loved being on the ship. I looooove sailing. It’s just so beautiful to be out there on the Ocean. There is something beautiful and peaceful about it. I can say that because we haven’t been in any big storm yet. I actually do hope we get to experience some kind of storm because I would like to know how that feels like. When I fly I keep getting into storms and I hate it, I prefer the rocking of a ship so much more to a rocking air plane.
Life on Logos Hope is really weird and when I think about it doesn’t make sense at all. 400 people from 50 countries living and working together, sort of in harmony and not earning any money. During the one year we were in the Caribbean, West Africa and Europe.
Sometimes I look at my life and I feel so blessed because I got to see and experience so many different countries and their cultures. I got to meet so many people and learn from them and their culture.
My first 6 months on the ship I worked in the Pantry, which means cleaning the dinning room and all the dishes. After 2 weeks I was shift leader which means I got to tell people what to do :) I did like working in the Pantry, because I had a fun teams (it kept changing). What I didn’t like was starting at 6am every second day. Still don’t like mornings but as a shift leader I felt like I had to be enthusiastic and motivating :)
After 6 months I wanted to change to the Service Desk, which is sort of the Reception of the ship, but I was told there was no space (which wasn’t true) and so I ended up joining line-up. In line-up we travel ahead of the ship to prepare the future ports. I got send to Ghana, although I didn’t want to go to Africa. With a team I travelled there and we had 3 months to prepare the port for the coming of the ship. Living in Ghana was exhausting. I hate getting so much attention. Being starred at every day and not being able to hide. Going out alone took a lot of energy. Still I learned so much from the people there. From those who are happy with the little they were given. When the ship finally came I was so happy, I think that was one of the happiest days in my life.
I admire people who go as missionaries to Africa. Because I now sort of understand what it takes. The sacrifices are many.
Being back on the ship was so great. It was so nice to not stick out anymore. To have good friends around.
I have been given so much. A freedom that few people every experience. A challenge that few people ever take on. It’s to really live. It’s to choose the hard way but experience life to its full. It’s to follow what I feel God calls me to do, even when I don’t agree with him. It’s to sacrifice everything for the one who scarifies everything for me. Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I were married and had kids. How it would be if my life would have turned out the way I wanted. But this is the life I’ve been given. It’s different from how I wished it would be. I can say that I know what it means to be really alive. For this I thank God

Being home.... and sacrifice

Spending time away from home, makes me love my country even more. I always knew that Switzerland is beautiful but now I'm even more sure of it, because now I can compare. More and more I realise how blessed I am to be a Swiss.
It feels good to be home. I really missed the seasons when on Hawaii. So I enjoyed spring and I loove summer. Even though I do work a lot these days, I still have time to hang out with my friends and family. Life in Switzerland is just great.
Still I'm gonna leave soon again. I feel called to join the ships for 2 years. I don't even want to think how long 2 years are. It makes me so sad to leave home again but I know this is what I'm supposed to do.
Many people think, that I just can't handle being back again and that's why I leave. Which is so not true. If I would want to leave, I surely would not join the ships. The ships involve a lot of sacrifices. The only person that can truely understand what it means for me to join the ships and how freaking hard it is, is my Mum. And then people say, "why do you go if you don't really want to". Ahhhh, how I hate the ignorance of people. I believe if God calls us to do something we should do it. And I believe that he doesn't always call us to do stuff that we're stocked about. Why should life always be easy and how we want it to be? Do I know what's best for my life? Well, I think I do but I really don't.
To sacrifice shapes my character. I have to learn to let go because as a matter of fact, I own nothing and I definitely own nobody. It is hard, it hurts and I don't want to do it but in the end it makes me free. And free I want to be.

Looking back

Thought that I was strong
But had to face the fact that I’m weak
When dreams take control
It’s all fake
Yet it’s impossible to deny the truth
Because the light still shines in me
Focus on the Spirit not the body
Fight for the soul not the heart
Know my weakness but still don’t know how to handle it
Beauty raps around my soul
Hawaii oh how I miss you
Maybe I was looking for an answer
Maybe I was looking for a home
Maybe I tried to escape so I don’t have to face myself
Face my future
All I know is where I’m coming from
Can’t answer their questions
A little girl in a big world
But I know the sun will rise again
And it’s all in God’s hands

Hawaii - Fiji - New Zealand - Australia

The last few month were just crazy and I will never be able to write down all that's happened. I will try to blog more, but yea.

Hawaii was intense. I had a great time, met a lot of great people, saw a lot of pain and I hope I got to help some people and bring some light and joy in their lifes. The beauty of Hawaii is hard to explain or express. The people of Hawaii and their Aloha is just beautiful, but yea, as everywhere some people do not like foreigners and being white was not always cool.

Fiji was short and wet

On Fiji I joined the Doulos and sailed with them to New Zealand. I love sailing, it is so great to be out in the middle of the ocean. There is something about the ocean that captivates me, it's so wild and free.

New Zealand was awesome. Reminded me of my home as some parts look like Switzerland but then there is the coast and the beautiful beaches. I worked on Doulos so I didn't get to see too much but it was great. Fellowship with the Doulos people, especially the Swiss and Shift 2 book Ex was rad.

Australia time started off with the Hillsong conference. Wow, God was so present there, so much good stuff, pure Worship, great speakers. Met some friends in Sydney. It's just such a blessing to catch up with friends. This whole trip is such a blessing, starting on Hawaii.

It's not possible to express all I've seen and captured in my heart. So many good memories but also some things I just want to forget. But it's just beautiful to see how God has my life in his hands and I'm thankful for the journey that's behind me and for the things yet to come.

Kauai

Pure beauty

Where the soul can find rest

Time to enjoy what God created

Peace and silence

Green pastures and hills

White beaches

And the roaring deep blue Ocean

Power and beauty

All I can do is marvel at all I see

and I know it's only a shadow

of the one who created all this

Try to capture all I see

and keep it in my heart

Nature untouched by man

It sings of its creator

How can people see and not believe

It carries my heart

I can breath again

Wings of my soul

Fly with the wind

Consumed by beauty

Freedom no one can take away from me

Moving on

Ok, I should have done this long ago because now there's so much to say, but yea, I'm an efficient Swiss, I can keep it short :-) Lol.

Right on. Summer was so busy that I feel like I kind of missed it. Since I had two jobs from April to July I was working more than usual, but that was cool. TeenStreet was once again awesome, but also sad because it meant to say goodbye to a part of my life. After TS I went back on Logos Hope for another 3 weeks. I'm still in love with that ship. Maybe one day I'll join it, only God knows. Back from the ship I had some time to fight through a lot of paper work and see my friends and family.

Now I am in Atlanta in the OM USA Headquartier :-) So still kind of OM even though I said good bye to OM Switzerland. I arrived last week and I will leave again this Friday, to start my adventure in Hawaii. For now, I enjoy Ashley's company and Saturday we went to see Jake, Sandra and the kids, so that was kind of a little LUKE youth team reuinion :-) It's good to spend time with friends before going to a place where I don't know anybody.

So yea, Hawaii it is. Ash gave me this DVD about "Surfing the Nations" just the other day. Watching it made me cry. I love what they're doing and I'm looking forward to be a part of it. Everybody seams to think that Hawaii is Paradise and life there can't be hard but that's one of many lies in this world. But I'll tell you more once I get there. All I know is, this is not going to be easy and I do need God to help me go through this. Oh yes, because my God rocks! :-)