Prayer - no word left to say

Oh Father God
Please hold me in your arms.
Take the pain away. It hurts so bad.
I´m desperate without vision and I´m lost without hope. I´m lost without you.
I feel torn apart.
Just want to stay in bed and cry.
My love for him is real.
Talking to him confirmed that I really want him to be the man of my life.
Father, why do I have this love within me if he does not feel the same for me?
Why did I have to fall for him in the first place?
Why do you let me do the same mistake again and again?
I know you proved your love for me at the cross, yet I struggle to see it.
The fight for my soul.
I´m so tired Lord - tired of feeling.
Because I can´t understand how he can look me in the eyes and not feel anything at all.
Because I can´t understand how he can reject me without even really getting to know me.
Because, Father, I declared him perfect in my eyes and my feelings for him are true.
I love his world.
How can it be, that I believe we were created for each other while he can´t see it at all.
Pick me up Lord. Save me from myself. How can I let go?
I believe in you Father. I believe in supernatural power. I believe in miracles.
How can I possibly stop hoping.
I lay it down at the cross.
Lord, if he is not for me, then please take the feelings away. But if we are meant to be together, Lord, then make the feelings even stronger. And please plant the same feelings in his heart.
I love you Lord, my Father, my Refuge, my Shelter and my Light.
I need you to act. I did everything I could. I was honest about my feelings.
You promised to bless me. You promised me a son. I stand on this promise and I will not let go.
Your word is truth and you can´t lie.
Help me to get through this.
My heart breaks everytime I see him with another girl.
Save me Lord, I don´t want to drown in this sea.
I love this church and I don´t want to feel pain everytime I´m there.
This is my minestry, the thing I love doing. Working for your kingdom. This church is my home. Where else can I go - except back to England (you people in England, I love you, thanks so much for all your love and prayers)?
I feel so small and helpless. I AM small and helpless.
Defend me, oh Lord, for my shield fell down and my sword lies broken beneath my feet.
Help me to have faith. Faith in love.
You have the power to heal my broken heart. You have the power to set me free.
I plead with you Lord, to send someone that holds me, holds me in his arms.
He will come, he WILL come.
He will see, one day he will see.
Father, please carry me through this.
Help me to focus on you and my work at church. For your glory, that my brothers and my friends may see.
Jesus, you´re the love of my life. In your name I pray.
Amen

PSALM 36

5 Thy mercy, O LORD, is in the heavens; and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds. 6 Thy righteousness is like the great mountains; thy judgments are a great deep: O LORD, thou preservest man and beast. 7 How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings. 8 They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house; and thou shalt make them drink of the river of thy pleasures. 9 For with thee is the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light. 10 O continue thy lovingkindness unto them that know thee; and thy righteousness to the upright in heart. 11 Let not the foot of pride come against me, and let not the hand of the wicked remove me. 12 There are the workers of iniquity fallen: they are cast down, and shall not be able to rise.