Just keep on breathing

Well, I wanted to post something yesterday, but then the phone rung and off I went. Meeting my friend in the city. We went to visit another friend in the hospital, she gave birth to a lovely girl a few days ago. This is the year of weedings (11) and babies (5). Amen. Anyway, we then went to grab some food at Mc Donald's and ate bye the river, short stop at my place and off to a friend's birthday party. My friend came to stay at my place over night and went to school in the morning. This is sort of a normal day. I don't know how I do it, but I'm not surprised that I've been sick for two weeks now.
Anyway, last week I went to this TeenStreet Coordinator meeting thing in Germany. Loved it. It was great talking to all these other people who have a heart for Teens. People from Europe but even Australia. I think I will love my job. Ok, on the day I went back home, Eeva arrived from Finland. We had a great week together. It was such a blessing that she could come and visit.
There is only one thing. Since I came back from Hawaii, I don't really feel home anymore. There is an ache in my heart and I just don't quite get what it is. Like something or someone is calling for me and I can't hear it but my heart can. This is so wired, I just don't get why. Am I strange?
Well, time to get out of here again, got to meet some friends in the city and in the evening I'll go dancing :-)

The camp, the wedding and the wicked cough

There's no time to reply E-Mails, so I go for the short version of posting something here. I hate that part of my culture, this "having no time" and "being stressed all the time". Why don't I have time to do the things I want to do and why don't I say what I'm longing to say? I better don't get started.
The snow camp: Well, I thought it would be a great idea to come home from Hawaii and spend a week with my friends and the teens. I was wrong. The beginning of the week was no fun at all, as I was jet laged, didn't want to be there and learning to snowboard is painful anyway. No mercy, I wanted to learn it. Surely I'm no hero on the board, but I can get down a hill. I felt terrible those first days, because all of me wanted to go back to Hawaii, in a way that feeling is still there. This being torn apart. Wanting to be somewhere else. We heard it all before - Geneva, Bern, Geneva (again), Basel, Halesowen (GB), Oakham (GB). I don't understand how I can still get attached to people and places that easily. Maybe because for me distance doesn't really exist. Can't explain it, well, maybe I could but it takes too long. Right. What did help me was, that Lisa was one of my room mates. She is from Australia and just moved to Switzerland in December, because she dates one of my friends. She's learning german, but we were talking in english :-)
By the time I got home I had a wicked cough, which helps me getting lots of attention at church and other places. Unrighteous.
Frieday we had our youth church meeting and I was glad to be there. Teens came and talked to me and I'm so amazed how open they are, all the things they share. So many broken girls out there, so innocent, so naïve. I know that for now I belong here, I know that when they say they love me and need me it's true. I know all this and yet something within me wants to fly away again.
The wedding: My former flat mate got married yesterday. She looked gorgeous in her dress. Wow! It was a great celebration and there were some friends of my church (she's from a different church) so this time I had some people taking care of me. I don't like going to weddings on my own, but what can you do. 10 weddings this year, I won't go to all of them. Yes, it does hurt but at the same time I am so happy for all my friends who made it. Because I saw them struggle being single and because I'm stronger than most of them. Yet I really wonder when this man of mine is going to wake up and makes a move. I don't care where he lives or what he does, as long as he's on fire for God and doesn't hide behind TV, a book or his Mum.
The future: Tomorrow (Monday) I get to travel to Germany, to join a Teen Street leader meeting. Yep, I will work for a few days :-) On the day I come home, my friend Eeva will be arriving from Finland and she will be staying with me for a week. I love visitors! But first of all: Germany here I come.